The World of Television

Before I started living out of a suitcase, my daily activities always included some TV. Weekday mornings, I watched the pre-market stock ticker run across the bottom of the Bloomberg screen as I worked out at Equinox. A few evenings each week, I tuned in to my favorite prime-time shows after work. Some nights, I fell asleep with "Friends" re-runs playing in the background. For Americans, TV is just part of life. 

Everything changed when I started finding myself in a new country every other week. The channels are never the same, comedies are lost in a sea of boring global news, and the majority of offerings are in a foreign language. For a while, I used Hulu as my lifeline to American culture, but even that dried up a few months ago when Hulu blocked content to anyone using a VPN to log in internationally. In a world where "2 Broke Girls" and "Mike & Molly" are considered prime-time television, I have no option but to entertain myself in other ways.

For a couple months, I pretended to be scholarly and read a lot more e-books on my Kindle. I spent some time practicing my Spanish (which is getting very rusty these days). I also discovered plenty of creative content on Youtube. Without exaggeration, I can spend hours watching a series of clips on Youtube. It's proof that you don't need million-dollar budgets or professional scripts to entertain people. 

After a long hiatus from TV, I was happy to discover that Australians have mastered the American formula of at-home entertainment. Every morning at the gym, I enjoyed shows that were essentially copies of “Good Morning America”. Anchors would make light of the day’s news, correspondents would report with fun community stories, and a “cash cow” character would call random viewers to give away prizes each morning.  It’s such a better way to start the day than International CNN or Al Jazeera.

Even the ads reminded me of America, with only a few small variations. Progressive Insurance basically copied the American format for Australia and replaced “Flo” with an Australian counterpart called "Kitty" who even looks similar. 

Kitty, the Progressive insurance girl in Australia

American TV shows have all been exported around the world but Australia actually manages to get the current season with only a short delay. I felt truly American again, as I watched episodes of “Ellen” at lunch with my local colleagues and laughed out loud during the "Modern Family" wedding while I ate a bacon cheeseburger from room service (the first burger I have eaten in years)!

One night, I saw an advertisement for a show called "I Wanna Meet Harry", which follows a group of American girls that were sent to England to compete for dates with a Prince Harry look-alike. At first, I thought this was just a brilliant Australian series that was created to mock gullible Americans (does anyone actually think that Prince Harry would try to find love on a low-budget TV show?) As it turns out, the show was actually produced by Ryan Seacrest and was also being broadcast in the United States. Thank you, Ryan Seacrest, for further diminishing the way Americans are viewed overseas!

On the positive side, I did find one TV series that manages to distract the attention away from crazy Americans. The popular "Real Housewives" franchise on Bravo has made its way down under, with "The Real Housewives of Melbourne"!  I have always enjoyed Bravo TV for mindless laughter and this show did not disappoint.  The women are basically the same as any of the US housewives installments, only with hilarious accents. If I ever move to Australia, there is no way I will get bored by the TV. 

Real Housewives of Melbourne prove even more that Australia = America

Although my job has made TV less relevant to my daily routine, I have never truly lost the love for mindless entertainment. Whenever I turned on the TV in Australia, I knew that I could be guaranteed at least one show that I recognized from home (often far more than just one). Part of me enjoyed the constant entertainment options, but a larger part realized that I am actually more productive without the distractions.  

Would other Americans also be better off without the hundreds of channels to choose from whenever they decide to sit in front of the TV?  Based purely on my personal experiences abroad... Absolutely. 

Television around the world

Before I started this job, I used to love returning home after a long day in the office and turning on the TV for some mindless entertainment.  Most nights, I had at least one show that I enjoyed watching.  Before falling asleep, my nightly routine always involved either "Watch What Happens Live" or a syndicated episode of "Friends" - even if I had already seen it ten times before.  I don't think I ever spent a night at home in the United States without watching at least some TV. 

On the nights that I went out after work, I was comfortable knowing that the DVR would record anything important. But, I still felt like I was missing out the next day when people would talk about what they watched the night before.  TV is an important part of the American culture and the popular shows are often a topic of conversation among my colleagues and friends. 

Everything changed when I started this job because the TV selection at hotels around the world are usually terrible!  I remember sitting in Mexico, where the only English channel was broadcasting awful shows like "2 Broke Girls" or "Mike and Molly".  I don't care how bored I am - I cannot watch that stuff. 

In most countries, I have seen shows that I recognize but the words are often dubbed in the local language.  Admittedly, I do find it amusing when the dubbed voices are so different than the real person.  I actually started laughing out loud once in Spain when the person speaking as Perez Hilton sounded all butch and masculine.  Another example is the Simpsons characters, which just sound wrong in other countries.

In India, one of my colleagues was watching "Bad Teacher" and noticed a scene where Cameron Diaz started smoking and a warning scrolled across the screen that said: "Smoking Kills".  Despite the strange warnings about smoking and drinking, India actually had a good selection of English channels, including HBO.  (This is a good thing in a place where no one wants to leave the hotel).   

Tanzania, surprisingly, offered one of the best TV selections that I can remember because there were a couple channels that showed Canadian movies (in English) throughout the day.  Most of them were low-budget, but at least I could understood them and was entertained by something new.

During my travels, I rarely turn on the TV in my room and I normally only notice the channel selection when I am using the gym equipment.  More often than not, I am forced to watch CNN International, Al Jazeera (in the Middle East), BBC news (in Europe), or Bloomberg (when I am really lucky).  None are very engaging, but at least Bloomberg keeps my attention on the treadmill as the stock prices and currency rates scroll across the bottom of the screen. 

I have grown to hate CNN International because they mostly show 'special' segments like "African Voices", which does not interest me in the least bit.  Plus, they have these annoying personalities like Richard Quest, with his annoying voice, and Christiane Amanpour, with her elaborate British prose.  For me, the only reasons to watch CNN is for Anderson Cooper and Candy Crowley! 

Annoying Richard Quest

Incredible Anderson Cooper

I have recently been watching BBC news in the morning because they have a segment where they scatter global newspapers across the desk and comment on various stories.  It's almost like watching people making fun of the daily news with friends over a coffee. 

I finally had a few hours to relax on Sunday, so I decided to check out a new show called Betrayal.  One of the main themes is corruption in Chicago and it grabbed my attention with so many suspenseful moments in the first episode alone.  After three episodes, I'm hooked.  This morning, I searched for some reviews and noticed that the show was referenced in an article titled: "Cancellation clock is ticking for a handful of new series."  Why doesn't anyone else like my favorite shows?!?   

Reading this article took me right back to last year, when I discovered 6 episodes of Ringer on a flight from Abu Dhabi to Chicago and instantly became hooked.  I returned home and spent the next week streaming the entire season, just to learn that it had been cancelled due to low ratings! Gah!!

It was not until this past weekend that I realized the 2013 premier season had come and gone without fanfare.  It is just another example where my job constantly forces me to change daily routine and adapt to new environments.  I can't just turn on the TV and expect to find any of my favorite shows.  I no longer have the opportunity to discuss my favorite shows with colleagues at lunch every day.    

Americans are so distinct from the rest of the world in their love of TV.  For me, it is like comfort food.  When I am out of the country, TV is not an important part of my day.  However, there are still some evenings when I love ordering room service and just relaxing in my room with my favorite shows.