Johannesburg Impressions

The next stop on my tour around the world was Johannesburg – a huge city that emerged from gold mining and became famous as the home of Nelson Mandela and the apartheid movement.   I was excited to visit South Africa because it is a completely new part of the world for me. 

Driving to the hotel, my first impression of the city was that it reminded me of Los Angeles.  Public transportation is really underdeveloped, so everyone is forced to have a car.  The homes are all set behind high walls and most appear to have painted stucco exteriors.  No one really wants to go downtown because all the higher-end restaurants and shops are all in suburban areas. Plus, the weather in the winter never gets too cold and rain is very unusual.

Of course there are also some key differences.  Remember those walls I mentioned that surround the homes?  They’re topped with barbed wire.  Water, beaches, and surfers also do not exist in Johannesburg like they do in LA.  Also, as expected, the cultural makeup of the population is completely different.  One other big difference: Every intersection is like a mini shopping mall.  Flowers, food, newspapers...these people sell it all!

Every intersection provides an opportunity to shop in Joburg!

I arrived at my hotel and checked out the view… Not impressed.  The hotel is attached to a mall and located in the middle of a neighborhood.  To be honest, there really isn’t anything worth looking at from anywhere in Johannesburg so I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. 

View of the mall from my hotel room in Johannesburg

The next day, I wasn’t feeling adventurous enough to explore the city so I decided to just browse through the mall.  Near the entrance was a group of children, dressed in traditional African garb and doing a tribal dance.  I shouldn’t even admit this, but it looked to me like a bunch of Americans were asked to dress in costume and imitate an African dance.  Maybe I still haven’t embraced the fact that I’m actually in Africa, not LA.  I felt immediately guilty and gave them 20 rand.  

Authentic African entertainment

As I walked through the mall, the feeling of being in America came to an abrupt end.  There was a “J Crew” store that looked nothing like any J Crew I have ever seen.  It was more like Sears pretending to be J Crew.  I actually laughed when I looked at some of the clothes on the racks.  

This is nothing like any J Crew store I have ever seen before.

I was actually on a mission to buy new running shoes but the ones on display in the Nike store looked even less authentic than the ones I saw in the medina of Casablanca.  There were some shoes on display in a department store but when I walked in, I was distracted by the Gap and Banana Republic displays.  The khakis looked like second-hand styles from 2001 and the prices were literally three times what I would expect to pay in the US.  If this store manages to sell any of these clothes at full price, I need to take a lesson from the Gap Inc. brand manager in South Africa!

Just when I thought my mall experience had reached the height of entertainment, I noticed a Marlboro clothing store.  Do people actually think that a “Marlboro” label will make their clothes look good? I don’t think I can shop in South Africa because it is like an alternate universe. 

I wouldn't be caught dead in anything from this store

In the end, I was forced to buy some shoes because the ones I’m using now are literally starting to cause me injuries.  I didn’t want to go with the plastic Nike’s so I opted for a pair of all-white Asics that look like they are designed for 60-year-old men.  It's sad when you buy shoes that you know are less stylish than what your Dad wears.  At least I don’t have to wear them around anyone who knows me for the next three months. These shoes will definitely not be making the flight back to America!

After all the retail entertainment, I was hungry and I decided to order the most unusual thing I could find on the dinner menu.  The winner was…wait for it…crocodile tail!  I know what you’re thinking: “Did it taste like chicken?”  No…it tasted more like pork – the other white meat.  My palette was thoroughly impressed.    

Crocodile tail: Even further from the 'other' white meat

By the time my first full day in South Africa had ended, I no longer felt like I was in LA.  Instead, I just felt like I was in the most hilarious city ever.  I couldn’t wait for the next two weeks.